Locker Talk
by Lady Nara
Summary: Keeping Japan safe from vengeful spirits isn't all battles and political intrigue. Sometimes it's spying on locker rooms. High school boys' locker rooms. Too bad Naoe and Haruie didn't mention this to Takaya.


**Disclaimers**: This little thing is a non-profit fanwork. I do not own Mirage of Blaze.

Locker Talk

Haruie had been guilty of many things in her centuries of existence, but being a "peeping tom" was definitely new.

"Is it supposed to be this quiet? I can barely hear what they're saying."

"You don't need to hear what they're saying," Naoe told her, with that overly patient air of his that made her want to stick out her tongue like the five-year-old he clearly thought she was.

"There's been a ghost sighting in this shower stall every day for the last week. That's what we need to see. High school gossip is hardly relevant. Besides, the sort of conversation that goes on in a men's locker room would just irritate you."

"Well, aren't you sweet," she cooed, batting her eyes. "If you're that worried about shielding my girlish innocence, why isn't Nagahide here instead?"

Naoe looked like he'd been asking himself that as well.

"Nagahide has math class at this time and it would be irresponsible for him to miss it."

"That's what he said, huh?"

"Yes."

"That bastard. How long do you think he's going to blow hot and cold like this? We need him yesterday, damn it."

"Keep it in perspective. Last we'd heard, he wasn't planning to have anything further to do with the Uesugi. Within the last week he's reversed his position_ and_ saved all of our lives, including Kagetora-sama's. He has to be uncooperative for a little while to save face."

"Sheesh. Well, at least he was willing to put in the camera. Wait a minute, why isn't Kagetora in on this?"

Naoe looked…shifty.

"Kagetora-sama has been blaming himself for the damage to the school and the injuries of his classmates. As a known troublemaker, he's already on the Principal's short list of suspects who might have broken in and caused the mess. His feelings of guilt would only make him more suspicious. Considering the severity of the damage, if he was accused, it wouldn't just be a matter of school discipline, there would certainly be police involvement. The last thing Kagetora-sama needs right now is to be wondering if we may have failed to entirely secure the building."

Haruie blew out her breath.

"Okay. So what about Yuzuru-kun?"

Haruie didn't need an explanation to go with the look that Naoe sent her. Alright, so Model Student Yuzuru would likely not have been down for spying on classmates.

"When I tell my professors I had to skip class to peep on high school boys, they're going to lock me up for indecency," she muttered.

"If you feel the need to protect your "innocence," you have my permission to wait outside. I'll let you know if we have a problem."

"Oh, shut up, Naoe. What if you take a potty break and miss something important? Like I'm going to explain to Kagetora-sama that I let you screw up a mission because I was afraid of seeing naked _boys_. I'm sure I won't be the first woman you've corrupted."

Naoe declined to comment and Haruie smirked ungraciously. There had been no change on this screen for the past few hours except for a low hum of voices too quiet to be understood and a few boys passing by when a PE class let out, as one just had. She just had to take a little revenge on Naoe for thrusting this boredom upon her, even if it wasn't at all his fault.

Her eyes were probably safe, anyway. Ghost sightings had apparently made this shower unpopular. Not exactly shocking, when similar sightings had precipitated student injuries and a school trashing only a week before. The last thing a guy wanted when he was naked and lathered up was a poltergeist joining the party.

Could they really have missed one? Yuzuru had been pretty impressive in settling the others. And what the hell had that been about, anyway? Haruie had never seen anything like it. Even an experienced priest wouldn't have been able to pacify that many spirits in such a state of fury.

Speak of the devil. Was that Kagetora-sama's little friend she heard or was the boredom making her loopy? And who was he talking to, when the rest of his class had already left the locker room?

"Uh, Naoe," Haruie managed, eyes going wide. "What day does Kagetora-sama have gym class?"

"What?" Naoe said blankly.

"Gym class. That thing that high school students have. Of which Takaya is one. Are you tracking any of this?"

"…"

The total lack of expression on Naoe's face bespoke intense emotion to someone who knew him as well as she did. No, no he had not put any of that together. In his concern for Takaya and his desire to protect him from further trouble, he had somehow managed to overlook this one, very important connection.

"Wow, are you feeling alright? I mean, he really does mess up your head, doesn't he? No, wait, I didn't mean it that way…"

No question what emotion Naoe was feeling this time. Utter exasperation had a way of looking the same on his face no matter what body he inhabited.

The voices were getting closer.

"Guess you're wishing you'd told him about this plan, right about now," she said, laughing nervously. Naoe's face - Gah.

"Look, it's not a big deal. They're just going to pass by on their way out, like everyone else."

"-_please_, Takaya-"

"-don't get what the hell you are so freaked out about-"

If there was a Supreme God, Haruie thought for only the five-hundredth and sixty-third time in her existence, he was laughing his divine ass off. There Takaya stood, front and center on the screen where Yuzuru had yanked him when they'd come tumbling into the shower. Takaya was dripping wet and naked except for the edge of a towel she could see slung low on his hips. Yuzuru was still clad in his standard-issue gym shorts and t-shirt.

Yuzuru snapped the shower curtain closed and resumed speaking in a furious whisper. Unlike the voices from before, Haruie could hear him perfectly since he was standing directly next to the hidden camera.

"How can you not see why this is a problem?"

"Just show it to the nurse," Takaya said wearily, running his hand through his hair in a gesture that Haruie felt certain was not meant to look provocative to people watching at home. Kagetora-sama was usually attractive, no matter the incarnation, but she had to admit that this one was particularly to her taste. Lean and muscled without being bulky; smooth, sun-kissed skin; chiseled features beginning to emerge from a face still youthfully soft around the edges…yes, there was definitely a lot worth seeing here.

"It is glowing, Takaya. Glowing! You think the nurse can help me with that? You think the nurse won't be _alarmed_ by that?"

"Glowing, really?" Takaya looked interested. "That is weird."

"Yeah, just a little. Look, there's only one thing I know of that would cause something like this…"

Takaya snickered and Yuzuru cast him a reproachful glare.

"…and that's the supernatural stuff that you're into."

"Whoa, hold up. You were glowing all on your own last week, with no help from me," Takaya protested, holding up a hand. Unfortunately, there was not really enough space for him to do that in the small shower, and he wound up narrowly avoiding planting his hand on Yuzuru's pectoral.

"No help from you?"

"Okay, maybe a little indirect help from, from the situation at large, which was in some part due to me. But you were emitting it yourself; I didn't do that."

"I don't care whose fault it is, Takaya. I'm just trying to figure out what's going on. From the evidence, I'd say this is supernatural, and you're my resident expert on all things supernatural at the moment."

"Expert," Takaya muttered.

"You know more than me," Yuzuru clarified.

"Right." Takaya sighed and scratched his dripping nose. "Right. Okay. Well, let me take a look at it."

Yuzuru hesitated, looking embarrassed, and Takaya barked in exasperation, "You don't have anything I don't have. Don't be ridiculous, Yuzuru."

"I'm not," Yuzuru snapped back immediately and took a breath. "I'm sorry, I just…okay, here." He slid a hand to the band of his shorts, bent almost out of view for a moment, and then stood again, bare from his shirt line to the limit of the camera view just under his navel.

"Huh," Haruie said involuntarily, and snuck a look at the man next to her. Naoe eyes were glued to the set with his brows drawn down in the most furious concentration, for all the world as if world war three was about to break out in the gym shower.

On-screen, Takaya frowned in curious echo of Naoe's look of concentration.

"Hmm. That's…here, let me…"

Yuzuru gave an undignified yelp as Takaya suddenly dropped out of the camera's view except for a few spikes of hair.

"What are you doing?" Yuzuru hissed, looking downward where it seemed Takaya was kneeling right in front of him.

"Taking a look, like I said. It's too small to see from up there and the light is shit in here. "

"It glows!"

"Yeah, and that kinda makes it harder to see, not easier. Keep still would you?"

"Takaya, I'm not…I'm not really comfortable with this…"

"Would you chill out? What exactly do you expect me to do if I don't even know what it looks like?"

Yuzuru squawked again as Takaya's hand reappeared at Yuzuru's hip, apparently to keep the boy from moving.

There was a moment's silence as Yuzuru closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the shower wall, fisting his hands in the effort to obey Takaya's command to remain completely still.

"Well, I think you're right. It's definitely got something to do with all that otherworldly bullshit. It looks like there's some kind of symbol here, but it's hard to make out. Is that…or…"

Yuzuru bit his lip and the color in his face deepened further.

"Wait, I've got it! It's- oh."

Takaya scrambled gracelessly to his feet, leaning against the wall to keep as far away from Yuzuru as possible, which wasn't far. Yuzuru glanced downward and went so red it looked almost purple in the dim lighting on-camera. Neither seemed to know what to say for a few beats, and then abruptly their sentences were falling over each other.

"-I'm sorry, it wasn't-"

"-totally normal, don't worry about it, I know that-"

"-I, just, um-"

"-young and healthy, and this happens to everyone, for any reason or no reason at all, so-"

"-please, let's never mention this again."

Takaya nodded fervently and started to leave the shower, then ducked back.

"Except for, the, the thing, of course. I'm definitely going to mention that to the others and we'll get it figured out, so don't worry, Yuzuru."

"Yes," Yuzuru said, a little desperately. "Thank you. See you later."

"Right. Okay." And he was gone, the curtain swinging back into place. The sound of footsteps receded, there was the shuffle of clothing, more footsteps, and then the creak of the locker room door.

Yuzuru let out a breath and leaned back against the wall, hitting it with a fist.

"What the hell was that! Shit." Haruie startled a little at the uncharacteristic swearing, coming back to herself. What was she doing? They should…

Yuzuru's fist went to his mouth and he made a muffled sound into it as his other hand snaked downwards. The whisper that followed was almost too quiet for the speakers. Almost.

"_Takaya_."

"…turn it off. Naoe. Kill the connection!"

Woodenly, Naoe reached over and slapped the switch. The screen went mercifully dark and Haruie released a breath she hadn't been aware she'd been holding.

Naoe seemed disinclined to speak. Shocking.

"So," Haruie ventured, "That was…interesting, but you know, Naoe…"

The door slammed.

"Well, fuck me sideways," Haruie whispered, and put her head down on the desk.

_-finis-_


End file.
